I have so much to write.. yet there is no point writing it out.. U kept me wondering who am i to you.. Frens? Brother? Best frens? Hopefully whenever u are not in a good mood u will tell me whats going on.. So tat at least i feel like i am given a chance to turn that ugly frown of yours into a sweet smile..

SPM is OVERRRRRRRRRRR !!!!~

what am i suppose to do now.. party starts only after u guys finish ur Chemistry.. which is on tuesday.. swtness..
I guess its a week time for me ....
1. to pack up all the rubbish i have kept in my room
2. to spend some time wit my younger/older pet bro and sis
3. to work out
4. to find out what do i really want in my life
5. to get back my form in every sport
6. to pimp* my Friends for Sale profile
7. to find the absolute me
8. to chill and relax all i want
9. to learn from every mistake i've done in my life
10. to find my Angel back


its 5.36a.m now.. and i am thinking should i go to bed now or wait till 8 a.m. for futsal..

nights and morning people.. =D

I am not suppose to be blogging i know.. lols..
Last paper on 3rd December.. Physics paper 1, 2 and 3.. Must score A.. 7 days to study one subject !
YAY ! haha.. hope i wont slack..
Haihz.. Pretty stress about everything thats happening in my life.. =(
Everything is just not going as smooth as it is supposed to be..
What a life i got..
Totally lost about what i'm gonna do in the future..
Study? Facing many financial probs..
Work? What the hell am i suppose to do with just a piece of Spm cert..

ZZzzzz.. Sometimes its just so hard till i wanna runaway from home.. =(

Suddenly got emo out of nowhere.. sry..

10th grade

As I sat there in English class, I stared at the girl next to me. She was my so called "best friend". I stared at her long, silky hair, and wished she was mine. But she didn't notice me like that, and I knew it. After class, she walked up to me and asked me for the notes she had missed the day before and handed them to her. She said "thanks" and gave me a kiss on the cheek. I wanted to tell her, I want her to know that I don't want to be just friends, I love her but I'm just too shy, and I don't know why.

11th grade
The phone rang. On the other end, it was her. She was in tears, mumbling on and on about how her love had broke her heart. She asked me to come over because she didn't want to be alone, so I did. As I sat next to her on the sofa, I stared at her soft eyes, wishing she was mine. After 2 hours, one Drew Barrymore movie, and three bags of chips, she decided to go to sleep. She looked at me, said "thanks" and gave me a kiss on the cheek. I want to tell her, I want her to know that I don't want to be just friends, I love her but I'm just too shy, and I don't know why.

Senior year
The day before prom she walked to my locker. My date is sick" she said; he's not going to go well, I didn't have a date, and in 7th grade, we made a promise that if neither of us had dates, we would go together just as "best friends". So we did. Prom night, after everything was over, I was standing at her front door step. I stared at her as she smiled at me and stared at me with her crystal eyes. I want her to be mine, but she isn't think of me like that, and I know it. Then she said "I had the best time, thanks!" and gave me a kiss on the cheek. I want to tell her, I want her to know that I don't want to be just friends, I love her but I'm just too shy, and I don't know why.

Graduation Day
A day passed, then a week, then a month. Before I could blink, it was graduation day. I watched as her perfect body floated like an angel up on stage to get her diploma. I wanted her to be mine, but she didn't notice me like that, and I knew it. Before everyone went home, she came to me in her smock and hat, and cried as I hugged her. Then she lifted her head from my shoulder and said, "you're my best friend, thanks" and gave me a kiss on the cheek. I want to tell her, I want her to know that I don't want to be just friends, I love her but I'm just too shy, and I don't know why.

A Few Years Later
Now I sit in the pews of the church. That girl is getting married now. I watched her say "I do" and drive off to her new life, married to another man. I wanted her to be mine, but she didn't see me like that, and I knew it. But before she drove away, she came to me and said "you came!". She said "thanks" and kissed me on the cheek. I want to tell her, I want her to know that I don't want to be just friends, I love her but I'm just too shy, and I don't know why.

Funeral
Years passed, I looked down at the coffin of a girl who used to be my "best friend". At the service, they read a diary entry she had wrote in her high school years. This is what it read: I stare at him wishing he was mine, but he doesn't notice me like that, and I know it. I want to tell him, I want him to know that I don't want to be just friends, I love him but I'm just too shy, and I don't know why. I wish he would tell me he loved me! `I wish I did too...` I thought to my self, and I cried.

I read this somewhere.. I dint write this..

Are you one of those people who hate crying in front of others?
Yeah.

What's the last song you heard?
Fuck it- Eamon

Are you in a good mood today?
Not good.. I hate it the most when people wake me up from my sleep especially when i sleep late.

Who would you be shocked to see call you?
Erm, stalker calling before 12afternoon.. =p

What were you doing this time yesterday?
Sleeping. its now 11.17 a.m.

Whose car were you in last?
Nicholas Kok.

Do you believe you can change someone?
Yes but not all.

Have you ever trusted someone too much?
Yeapz.. But now never..

What are your plans for the weekend?
Stated in my previous post.. but i dont think i can do it if i continue to blog.. lols

When was the last time you had half boiled eggs?
Erm this morning.. Everytime i go out for breakfast my first order would be.. 'half boiled eggs' pls..

Do you have any plans for tomorrow?
Going school or library alone whole day again..

What do you currently hear right now?
Food..

How do you feel about school?
Great and something u definitely would miss..

Who are you currently texting?
Nope.

Do you find is easier to forgive or forget?
Forgive.

Do you like competition?
Yes but not everything.

How late did you stay up last night?
4 a.m.. Couldn sleep well.. Was thinking a lot about everything..

Are you a jealous person?
Erm.. Sometimes..

Done anything illegal in the past month?
I dont know wats illegal to me.. lols..

Would you ever take someone back if they cheated on you?
I do not know.

Think back three months ago, were you single?
Erm.. i think so..

Where do you wish you were right now?
In ur heart.But thats most probably a dream.

Is there something that reminds you of someone every time you see/smell/hear it?
2 little bears in my drawer..

Would you date someone taller than you?
Erm.. i dont know.. but i guess i will..

Have you ever slept with a member of the opposite sex without having sex?
Yeapz.

Where did you get the shirt you're wearing right now?
I aint wearing any. i was wearing my and1 jersey from and1 competition but i took it off like right after i reach home..

Do you like meeting new people?
Of course. definitely

Do you sometimes use your music player to help you fall asleep?
Yeapz.. As loud as possible..

Are you starting to realize anything?
Yes.. should be studying now..

What do you always take with you?
My phone, wallet and camera..

Do you have a reason to smile right now?
Yes. =D going to take bath after this.. haha..

What time did you wake up this morning?
i dont remember wat time but definitely b4 8.00 a.m.

Have you ever liked someone older than you?
Yeapz.. 2 years older..

Have any interesting conversations lately?
Since when talking to me is not interesting.. perasan*

If your friends warn you about someone you like, do you listen?
Never because everything is worth a try..

Who did you last promise with?
Stalker. that was quite long ago. =D

What was the first thing you thought of this morning?
I wanna sleep longer.

Does the last person whose house you stayed at last mean anything to you?
Definitely, Lee Jia-Jin.. =D my brother..

What do you do when you're having a bad day?
Swear the whole day, go for swimming, Walk alone at the park, spend all my money..

Does anyone completely understand you?
Nope.

Do you get depressed about things easily?
Sometimes.

Where is your biological father right now?
I have no idea..

If you had to delete one year of your life completely, which would it be?
1992-2009..

Do you think someone is thinking about you right now?
Erm.. maybe.. or maybe not..

When was the last time you were on the phone?
Erm this morning.. Stupid morning call tat i dint ask for..

Are you getting engaged anytime soon?
Swt.. never till i own at least a 3 storey house with my own money..

Do you feel awkward when strangers say hi to you?
Nope.. cos i always say hi to strangers.. lols..

Is anything currently upsetting you right now?
Yes.. Because i still remember someone last night called me a LIAR and haven take it back..
If she is nice enough, she would send me a msg by today to tell me she dont mean it..

Did you have a good day yesterday?
Tried something i never.. =D

Is tomorrow gonna be a good day?
Most probably.. =D

Are you happy with where you're at in life?
Satisfied.

Do you care too much, not at all or just enough?
Care too much most of the time..

Are you afraid to tell your true feelings?
Depends.

Who is someone who can always make you laugh, even on a bad day?
Anyone who knows they are my sister, best fren,brother..

Has a boy/girl ever called you babe or baby?
Yes.

Do you like to make the first move?
Lurve it when people make the first move.. but this kinda thing dont usually happen.

Did you go out or stay at home in the afternoon yesterday?
I went to KL to watch some basketball competition.. Malaysia,KL Dragon against Thailand, Thai Tigers..

Have you ever fallen asleep while texting someone?
Most of the time..

Besides this, what are you doing right now?
Listening to music..

Do you know anyone who would just drop everything to come see you?
Nope.

Have you ever worn the opposite sex's clothing?
Yes.. haha..

Would you go into public looking like you do now?
Erm.. yes.. i guess..

Last time you cried?
Dont remember.

Where will you be in a hour?
Curve ! LOL.. Fuckkkk.. should be studying and following my schedule i posted in my previous post..

Where did your last hug take place?
I dont remember.. sad life.. lols..

Who was the first person you talked to today?
Nic kok...

Are you a big fan of thunderstorms?
Nope

Have you ever been asked out?
Yeapz.. =D

Where was your default picture taken?
Stadium.. =]

What color underwear are you wearing?
Not wearing? Rainbow colours? Get a LIVE show from me if u are that desperate to know..

What's the first thing you notice about the opposite sex?
The smile on her face.. =D

Describe your life in one word.
Raindrops.

Have you ever kissed in the rain?
Not yet*..

Do you act differently around the person you like?
Sometimes when i am nervous..

Finally finish.. =D

HEY STALKER !
BLogging now just for u !
Happy or not ? Dun give me that sad face already la.. lols.. =D..
And make sure u'll always remember what i promised u..

Terry Graduation Day was on last Thursday.. I think it was great.. I turned into a part time waiter..
Delayed blogging about it because i was facing some problems uploading the pic and video..
Haihz.. Will put it up as soon as possible..

I shall write about what i'm gonna do on Sunday.. =D
Wake up around 8.30 in the morning to play basketball alone or maybe ask a few gays come along..
Then bath and make own breakfast..
Clean up my room and pack everything that belongs to me..
Most probably take another bath.. lols.. yes i know.. i love bathing.. and if only it was possible.. i wish i could stay in the water forever..
After tat, i am gonna eat again i guess or maybe start studying.. till dont know wat time..
take a nap.. and if there is time i would love to continue to study again.. then if it dint rain i will run out from my house and play basketball !
and i will see what i can do after tat..

This post is so random thanks to you,stalker.. =P

1. It hurts to love someone and not be loved in return.
But what is more painful is to love someone and never
find the courage to let that person know how you feel.

2. A sad thing in life is when you meet someone who
means a lot to you, only to find out in the end that it was
never meant to be and you just have to let go.

3. The best kind of friend is the kind you can sit on a
porch swing with, never say a word, and then walk away
feeling like it was the best conversation you've ever had.

4. It's true that we don't know what we've got until we lose
it, but it's also true that we don't know what we've been
missing until it arrives.

5. It takes only a minute to get a crush on someone, an
hour to like someone, and a day to love someone-but it
takes a lifetime to forget someone.

6. Don't go for looks, they can deceive. Don't go for wealth,
even that fades away. Go for someone who makes you
smile because it takes only a smile to make a dark day
seem bright.

7. Dream what you want to dream, go where you want to go,
be what you want to be. Because you have only one life and
one chance to do all the things you want to do.

8. Always put yourself in the other's shoes. If you feel that it
hurts you, it probably hurts the person too.

9. A careless word may kindle strife. A cruel word may wreck
a life. A timely word may level stress. But a loving word may
heal and bless.

10. The happiest of people don't necessarily have the best
of everything they just make the most of everything that comes
along their way.

11. Love begins with a smile, grows with a kiss, ends with
a tear. When you were born, you were crying and everyone
around you was smiling. Live your life so that when you die,
you're the one smiling and everyone around you is crying.

I need to study for my SPM..
I wan to find a JOB that can earn at least 3k per month now..
I need some MONEY support for my COLLEGE ..
I wanna grow TALLER...
I need a much more PEACEFULfamily than this..
I wan a better LIFE than this..
I need to change my ATTITUDE..

Haihz..